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It seems only like yesterday that I stood in your shoes, on the verge of turning twenty-one. My mind was a maelstrom of feelings; not all of which I could understand. On the one hand was nostalgia for all the memories of growing up and on the other trepidation. I had just left the University and I was going to miss the ‘mountain top experiences’ - the uninhibited exuberance of worshiping together on a Sunday afternoon, the wonderful friendships that had been developed over the tenure of my stay, the nights spent in raucous laughter as we talked about everything under the sun - everything. I felt some trepidation, a nagging concern at the monstrous changes that I was on the verge of undergoing.
Lots of issues swirled around my mind – what final grade would I make? Where would I be deployed to serve the nation? Would I get a job? Was a Masters' Degree the ultimate coup de grace I needed to launch myself into my chosen career? Had I learned all I needed to succeed in life? I had plans, that had me doing things I had only seen in my dreams.
You too, my dear, face these issues today. Rather than relenting, conventional wisdom seems to suggest that these pressures have increased from my time till now. You will be required to perform at peak levels relationally, spiritually, financially and in your chosen career. Thankfully, you do not tread an unbeaten road. So many years ago, a motley of ex slaves and their children also faced a test of courage – The Exodus – leaving the known however uncomfortable, for a promise of a greater tomorrow. Like them you too have spent a significant portion of your life in training - lectures, tests, exams, managing conflicting schedules, finding time to connect to other people, spending money you haven't earned, engaging stakeholders and customers and learning to honour the women in your life. Like them too, you stand on the verge of crossing a major milestone, beyond which everything changes.
Be warned, that anticipation and excitement often mask the requirement for hard work and concerted effort. Young man, I can call you that, truly succeeding will require a major effort to flesh out the details of your future. The man who does not sit down and count the cost of a venture runs the risk of getting stuck mid-stream. You should therefore consider this a time to count the cost before stepping out into the world.
Also remember that Society has expectations of you – to get or create a job, get married, have children, and then in the African context, provide for family – parents, siblings etc. May I add, that in addition to all that, you as an individual have unique skill sets that will enable you to do something different for your world; using your influence and abilities to hold the fort and speak up for those who are less blessed than you. Each passing year will lead to an increase in the level of these expectations, something you must be prepared to shoulder. You, my dear must show your maturity by learning commitment and demonstrating responsibility to succeed at this.
I consider “commitment” as the acceptance of a responsibility for something or someone and “responsibility” as taking definitive action to fulfill those commitments. In my experience I have come to find out that commitments define the frame work on which our value system is built as well as define the intrinsic premises that characterize the extrinsic qualities of our lives – how our lives are to be led on a day to day basis. You cannot afford to be wrong here, or else all else will be fatally flawed.
Kindly consider five critical dimensions where you will need to commit to - a balanced worldview, family, the larger society, your future employer as well as the mentors that will come in and out of your life. You will also have to take responsibility to take ethical decisions at some stage of your life, whether in a personal capacity or on the behalf of others, function in and provide for a family and serve at some level in the society. Take these five categories to heart, study them, seek out information on them, and continuously improve.
As you stand on the verge of manhood, let these words ring in your ears. Go.. and make a difference in your world.
Me...
The Dispensability of Ministers
2 hours ago
35 comments:
Wow...beautiful written. I think it is safe to say that you are on the right track to being a good father in future.
Words of advice to let young people know that the challenges ahead are not impossibilities...but possibilities waiting to happen.
*beautifully
This is really quite refreshing to see/read. great job!
Here's some love (referring to your post on your blog)
This was beautifully written, and great points. Inspiring and wise.
@ Undercover 07 -- Hmm..Our wish is that we finally get to the place of being a good father..
Like this bit.... Words of advice to let young people know that the challenges ahead are not impossibilities...but possibilities waiting to happen.
@Reverence -- Thanks...... Grateful!
@Adaeze -- LOL... Thanks for showing some then.... Hopefully, it inspires us as well.....
This is a great letter to all young men. Matter of fact, it should become required reading because it provides serious insight that boys need to learn early so they have a clue on the path of life.
I have a nephew I love greatly who I have tried to explain some of this to. Hope you don't mind me sending this to him.
Thanks for sharing this.
Though this appears to be written to me, it is as though this words were directed at me...
I like the statement so much "that anticipation and excitement often mask the requirement for hard work and concerted effort"
lol, i meant "appears to be written to men*"
@Solomonsydelle -- We would be honoured if it provided a platform to enagage your nephew on these issues.. You are welcome to share it..
@Rita -- LOL.. Thanks.... We hope our future sons find the letter useful too...
Very inspiring. I even feel like walking taller after reading them!
Damn,
i wish i could write like this!
flowing beautifully structured!
Inspiring...
beautiful, just beautiful.
It must be my day of reading words of inspirations; had finished going through "a journal for Jordan by Dana Canedy" and these are similar concept.
Makes me wonder what I would write if I had to write to my kids.....food for thot
@LoloBloggs -- LOL.. Thanks.. Then just do it.. Walk taller..
@Chayoma -- Thanks a million.. Very kind with your compliments
@Naijagirl -- LOL.. Perhaps then......
Gosh i need to get my brother to read this cuz . well written DB.
Nice one Danny/Doug. It's nice to a man's perspective on life without it being about sex/women/riches.
combo of db n doug!!! mehn! im coming back! :D
Lati
go db!!! very letter...kool advice!!! insightful but not too scary...u knw all d commitment n responsibility thingy.
You make it seem even more daunting...
nicely constructed..
this is excatly where i am in my life..
thanks for the advice
you really are good at what you do....kudos and more grease to your elbows...thanks for the advice
you guyz are losing me.. seriously..anyhowz..sha..lemme go read...lol
Very well written!!
@Scarlet -- By all means let him have a read....
@TigEress -- Perhaps, it is counter-cultural, but we think it is possible long term..
@Lati's Corner -- Hmmm.. Thanks Thanks!
@Brokeass -- Perhaps, it seems daunting.. But its the little baby steps that count I think..
@BBB -- -WOW.. Hopefully, it sheds a few beams of light and provides the impetus to reach for the higher level!
@Sweetnothin' -- Perhaps you are good are giving compliments? LOL.. Thanks..
@simeone -- LOL.. Surely not YOU!
@Repressed One -- Thanks a lot!
Thanks peeps for sharing some love.. Hopefully it also made some sense
Not fair...When I first came here, the blog was still being tweaked. (Hint: one of your profiles was wrong;)
What can I say that hasn't been said already? Congrats guys! Only, this tag team of two encyclopedia pushers has got me dreading sleeping with my dictionary after each post...
The future...my future....damn, you just reminded me....sheesh, got lots to think about.
btw, nice blog here!
@Naughty Eyes -- LOL. We've fixed that now.. THanks for spotting it!
@Oyin -- LOL.. Thanks for stopping by.. We all do have a lot to think about the future I guess.. Especially now..
@Temite -- Thanks...
Two introspective writers, fascinating concept..
One inspiring post.. And much more to come..
Works for me..
@RocNaija --- Thanks for stopping by..... Def works for us too...
erm many times there was a call for the oxford dictionary I).. an enjoyable piece. Well dont guyss..
meant well done :) this keybaord :)
hmmmm...
this place is tight...well done guyz
this blog collabo is going to be da bomb...i can feel it
wonderful post..deep infact
@ The Life of a Stranger Called Me -- Ahn ahn.. Dictionary ke? Thanks for stopping by... Maybe you need to 'bind' your keyboard!
@Simeone - LOL.. Thanks bruv..
@Aloted -- Mhhhnn.. We receeeive the tightness!
Oh now I see what I'v been missing..
Just lovely,DB!!!
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